3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
