I love black thongs
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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