I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
