Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
