We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
