What did we do last night that was yellow?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I haven't been this sober since birth.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
