Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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