Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You made out with two different species that night
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
