I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
