i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize