Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
