some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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