i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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