I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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