Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize