She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
