I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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