You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
