Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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