Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize