So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize