I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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