i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
