Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Less talking, more tequila
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
