youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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