You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
