is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
the liver wants what the liver wants
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
