i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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