if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
