i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize