ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
