Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
