Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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