What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
