I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize