I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
