Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
