Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize