never play flip cup with pint glasses
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize