I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
