I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
