i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
