I am in a vortex of obligation.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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