At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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