how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
