I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
