at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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