I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i out mim tonsoeep
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