Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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