Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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