Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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