I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
