Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize