I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You've changed since you got that strap on
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
