I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize