Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
