your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
