I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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