You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
