last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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