Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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