i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
