the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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