Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
how drunk are you?
Several
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
