Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
