O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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