Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
mondays should just be called national damage control day
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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