i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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