its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
