i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
