yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
