# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
